Reflections of the Past
by x Veela x
Summary: Harry's battle with Voldemort may be over, but Ginny is still fighting to get over Harry. Rated for themes some readers may find upsetting. //Finished//
1. Reflection

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, unfortunately I do not own any of these characters… They all belong to JKR.**

**Chapter 1 - Reflection**

_It was pitch black outside_

_when she woke up screaming._

_As tears cascaded down her face_

_she realised_

_it had already happened._

Ginny's heart sank into icy depths as it hit her again and again that he was gone. As were many others. She thought of all the faces that would fade into her memory when her eyed did not see them.

_With just two words_

_Riddle had destroyed_

_Her life,_

_Her heart,_

_Her future._

She knew that sleep would not claim her again to rescue her out of reality past or present. She tiptoed down the hallway, the light of a candle lighting her way as the misty paths of her mind cleared.

_She entered the attic,_

_the place where she dwelled_

_on what could have been._

_She placed herself in front of the mirror_

_with those now-familiar reflected letters._

_As she looked in the glass she only saw_

_herself with a boy_

_with untidy black hair nearly covering a scar,_

_the scar that had shaped her life._

She gave up trying to stem the tears.


	2. Refraction

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, unfortunately I do not own any of these characters… They all belong to JKR.**

**Chapter 2 – Refraction**

In the kitchen of the Burrow, Ginny looked down at the diamond ring on her finger.

_She couldn't bear to take it off._

She looked at her family sitting silently around her.

_Harry should be with them._

Her thoughts cast back to their last parting from each other.

_Today would have been their wedding day._

She walked out of the front door of the Burrow to the apparition spot. The only sound she made were the taps of her heels and the _crack_ of her magic.

_She knew where she needed to be_

She stood in a clearing.

_At the edge of the lake where she had promised to be his for evermore.  
_

She stood with her feet nearly in the water and looked at a leaf on the surface. As she reached out for it, a gust of wind pushed it away from her.

_In its place was a withered rose, plucked away from its stem before it was time to go._

Ginny imagined the paradise she would be in if Harry had not have lost his life.

_It would have been perfect_

She looked at her reflection in the water; her reflection changed to his. The trees whispered all around her

_Nature's first green is gold_

_Her hardest hue to hold._

_Her first leaf's a flower_

_But only so and hour._

_So leaf subsides to leaf._

_So Eden sank to grief._

_So dawn goes down to day_

_Nothing gold can stay._

**_ - Robert Frost_**

The gust of icy wind blew across the surface, scattering their reflection. Ginny raised her collar and looked around her.

_The sun had set._

**Push the button – love you all xXx**


	3. Give and Take

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, I own nothing you recognise… (Can I sulk back in my corner now?)**

_Chapter 3 – Give and Take_

"_I pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."_

Almost a year on, Hermione fought the urge to scream with the white-hot knives of pain. She remembered Mrs Weasley's words of wisdom: If she was distressed, her baby would become distressed. It was wrong to scream during childbirth. It was a curse upon your child.

_If the first emotion he feels is distress,_

_That is the emotion he will hold dear to his heart_

_Throughout the rest of his life._

_If the first emotion he feels is love,_

_That is the emotion he will wear on his sleeve_

_Until the day he dies._

Days later, she held her husband's hand in hers as she cradled the baby to her breast. He had a small crop of soft brown hair that matched his chocolate brown eyes. Hermione put Sirius back down and her mind focused painfully on Ginny.

_The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away._

_**Flashback **_

Pain shot through Ginny's stomach. She collapsed on the floor as blood pooled around her. The image she caught before the world blacked put around her, was of a heavily pregnant Hermione hobbling down the stairs trying to reach her.

**End Flashblack**

_One child's life in exchange for another's._

All Ginny could think of after that was that now he was gone.

_Forever._

Harry was sacrificed in the battle and the only legacy he had left behind had been destroyed.

_His child._

**Yes, yes I know, very short, sorry about that **

**Reviews would be appreciated xXx**


	4. Finding

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, I own nothing you recognise… (Can I sulk back in my corner now?)**

**Yes, I know, I said that there were only going to be two more chapters, but I couldn't fit everything I wanted to in without it feeling cramped.**

**For those of you I told that this is the sad chapter, it's not – they're nearer the end.**

**Chapter 4 – Finding**

* * *

_**Previously:**_

_Harry was sacrificed in the battle and the only legacy he had left behind had been destroyed._

**_His child._**

* * *

Since then, Ginny was watched very closely. Her friends and family would come up with all sorts of excuses that she was sure were not necessary. All of a sudden, Fleur would want to take her shopping; afterwards they would go to the Burrow and life would be to hectic supervising Sirius playing with Fleur's beautiful strawberry-blonde twins to feel reality.

When Molly saw the wistful glaze cloud over her daughter's eyed, she would commission a cooking lesson or notice that the kitchen or living room or sometimes the dining room needed cleaning. When Ginny's mouth set into a thin angry line, the gnomes would find themselves soaring through the air, hurtled faster and further than they had ever travelled before. The Weasley's garden had seen the last of the pests for a while,

_But Ginny's depression did not fade so easily.

* * *

_

**Molly's POV**

Molly Weasley woke in the middle of the night to see a flutter of black lace swish round the corner. Although she disapproved of some of the items in Ginny's wardrobe (especially the length), she knew how important they were.

_Since his death, Ginny had never worn anything Harry had not bought her._

Mr Weasley was thankful that the muggle airport had misplaced the couple's luggage.

Molly crept after Ginny, trying not to step on the squeaky floorboards. They notice went into the kitchen and Molly stood in the doorway. Ginny, however, did not notice. She tapped the door handle and the back door flew open. Molly watched as Ginny passed through the door, leaving it open to bang against the frame in the wind. Winter was coming and a bitter chill swept through the air as the grass crunched beneath their feet. She trailed her daughter across the garden right down to the wooden building her husband claimed was for his Ministry work.

_Curiosity gripped her as Ginny pushed open the door.

* * *

_

**Ginny's POV**

The world is faded around me, not quite black and white, but not in colour either. Through sepia tones I follow the cry, not aware of where I am going. I just follow the magnetic pull. As I drift through the kitchen, my ears pick up the tones of the cry mingled with a heart-wrenching hiccup.

_The cry of a baby._

I push an oak door, feel it's rough grains travelling across my fingertips. The flash of moonlight glinting on my father's car suddenly blinds my eyes.

On the worktop I see it. A bundle of soft blankets muffling the cry of the inky locks and familiar deep hazel eyes.

_It was if James Potter lived again._

**I have chosen my words very carefully and there is a reason that the last bit is from Ginny's point of view, but if you can't work it out, then you'll have to wait for the next chapter.**

**Reviews would be appreciated – push the button…you know you want to… xXx**


	5. Realizing

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, I own nothing you recognise… (Can I sulk back in my corner now?)**

**Chapter 5 –** **Realizing**

* * *

_**Previously:**_

_On the worktop I see it. A bundle of soft blankets muffling the cry of the inky locks and familiar deep hazel eyes._

_**It was if James Potter lived again.

* * *

**_

Molly could not tear her eyes away from the sight of her daughter.

_If she did, she would have noticed that the car was not empty._

In the front seat sat a young man the age of her youngest son. He had icy eyed and a cold face to match with his trademark silvery blonde hair.

_His eyes held a harsh determination as he directed his wand._

If Molly's eyes had been able to trace the path of his wand, she would have noticed where it was pointing.

_Who it was pointing at._

* * *

**Draco's POV**

I had to do it. The order was still there; the curse was still on er life. After Potter's death, I watched as this ghost floated around trying to desperately cling on to some form of her dead fiancé.

_I had even seen her wedding dress hung up in her room._

The way I did it gave what was left of my torn emotions some comfort. She would have a few precious moments to treasure before she came down to the harsh reality that I knew would push her over the edge.

_Literally._

* * *

**Ginny's POV**

My heart soars as I clasp him to my breast. As if regaining consciousness, I feel the past few months sweep over me. I recall falling to the floor as if white-hot knives were piercing my stomach. As if watching a movie, I see myself swell with pride; my mother's eyes were streaming while I handed my premature son to his grandfather. I feel the effects of the past few week's lack of sleep, remembering when I feel as if I am to drop dead from exhaustion, how it is all worth it. The look in my son's eyes as his cries stifled when I shushed him against me. I remember the night he was conceived; a few months after my wedding, my husband voiced his wishes. I always knew he wanted to start a family. He wanted to start it now; he wanted to give his parents-in-law their first grandchild; he wanted to thank them for everything they had done for him. She felt again the rush of hot lava flowing through her veins; she saw the white sunburst of bliss behind her eyelids.

_Footsteps broke the trail of her memories; the past few months that had suddenly clicked into place._

* * *

**Molly's POV**

Her heart wrenched apart, torn brutally into uncountable pieces. Her whole body shook with the combination of suppressed shock, anger, and an unbearable sadness that enveloped her and swamped all coherent thought.

_Her seventh child; her youngest child; her daughter; her only daughter._

She had frozen at the sight of Ginny, her beautiful face bathed in the moonlight, alight with elation.

_Clutching nothing more than a pile of grubby rags, smeared with oil to her breast._

**Hmm... that was a bit upsetting; I think from here on it gets really depressing…**

_**Reviews would be appreciated xXx**_


	6. Over The Edge

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine; conspiracy time.**

**You have been warned in previous chapters that this fic is not happily ever after, but this is not the final chapter. If you feel depressed already feel free to read a few humorous oneshots that you'll find on my profile page – they'll make you smile.**

_Chapter 6 – Over the Edge_

_**Previously:**_

She had frozen at the sight of Ginny, her beautiful face bathed in the moonlight, alight with elation.

_Clutching nothing more than a pile of grubby rags, smeared with oil to her breast.

* * *

_

In the harsh light of the weak November sun, Ginny clutched at a steaming mug of cocoa as her mother huddled her into her warm body, oblivious to the tears soaking her. Before, Ginny had been strong and cried about five times a year,

_Now, she cried about five times before breakfast._

The Ministry had alerted the wizarding world about the youngest Malfoy, but with rumours of a Fidelius charm flying around, no one could be quite sure were he was.

For three days, now, Ginny had been under constant supervision, listlessly following her mother's suggestions as her mother coaxed her into eating, dressing, washing. Mrs Weasley had left Fleur in charge of her household, as her first priority became Ginny. Encouraged by the fact that Ginny had reached the mug off the shelf to make her own cocoa this morning, Mrs Weasley had turned her back on Ginny for a few minutes while she went to hang the washing out.

When she returned, Ginny was sitting exactly where she left her, with her eyed shut, her breathing snuffling every now and then. Mrs Weasley smiled to herself and softly called Hermione down to keep an eye on Ginny while she went to Diagon Alley to get some household supplies.

**Ginny's POV**

It's working, she thinks I'm getting better. Soon she'll know what happened, but not yet.

_If they knew, they'd stop me.

* * *

_

Throughout the next three days, Ginny was less and less supervised.

_More and more left on her own._

_To do whatever she pleased._

Mrs Weasley beamed when Ginny announced she'd like a shopping trip. Although she wanted to accompany her daughter, she knew Ginny would appreciate it more if only Hermione went with her.

_She understood Ginny needed to go slowly._

_One thing at a time._

She offered an encouraging smile as her daughter reached for the Floo Power. Flames enveloped Ginny as she was whisked away. Mrs Weasley crushed Hermione into a hug as the flames died down. Hermione went into the cupboard to get an umbrella in case the skies decided to rain. Her mother-in-law whispered quickly in her ear to take care of her daughter. Hermione looked at the clock; Ginny's hand was still pointing at _travelling_. She waited long enough for it to turn back to _mortal peril_ before stepping into the grate.

_Long enough for Ginny to apparate back from Knockturn Alley._

**Ginny's POV**

I snatched it from the shelf, handing some coins over to the ugly old man behind the counter.

_I didn't think twice about it –_

_It was only my backup plan._

_If I failed the first time,_

_They'd make sure I didn't try again.

* * *

_

The girls returned home, soaked from the rain despite the umbrella, with their arms loaded with bags. The situation had an air of untruth about it, but as Mrs Weasley looked from Hermione's pink cheeks to a small flicker of a smile from Ginny, she couldn't bring herself to say anything.

**Ginny's POV**

It's een exactly a week since the most recent torture Draco Malfoy inflicted on me.

_I can't take it any more._

I look around me at the storm clouds, the wind howling in my ears as I reach the top of the cliff. I take one last glance behind me before climbing over the barrier. I see my wedding ring sparkle as the ray of sunlight flickers back behind the clouds.

_It's now or never._

_It's now._

I feel the wind pick up speed across my ears, my hair streaming out behind me. As I hurtle downwards I realise:

_I had forgotten to say goodbye to Sirius._

**For those who can't remember, Sirius is Ron and Hermione's child – Ginny's first nephew. **

**Now I don't know about you, but I'm quite upset now – I'm sorry I didn't mean this fic to be so depressing it just flowed out. **

**This isn't the last chapter. There will be one more and an epilogue.**

_**Reviews would be appreciated xXx**_


	7. Gateway To Heaven

**Disclaimer: You recognise it; I don't own it. End of.**

**Sorry I took so long to update, I feel like my only audience is HogwartsHoney, but never mind.**

_Chapter 7 – Gateway to Heaven_

_**Previously:**_

_I feel the wind pick up speed across my ears, my hair streaming out behind me. As I hurtled downwards I realise:_

_**I had forgotten to say goodbye to Sirius.**_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My body is freezing, wind rushing past me, turning tears into what feels like ice. I'm not falling anymore. Should I be happy?

Ginny saw a flick of white blonde as her body slowed down to drop gently onto sand beneath her.

_He didn't want her to die that way._

She took out her wand and apparated back to the Burrow before anyone found out what she had been up to. She thanked her mother for teaching her to always have a backup plan. Ginny walked up the front pathway and into the clutching arms of her mother with her incessant questions about her whereabouts.

_I just went for a walk._

She sneezed, and as she predicted, the next thing she knew, she was snuggled up in a blanket by the fire with a steaming mug of cocoa in her hands.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I have become quite used to seeing "last glances". I've recognised them; I know my time has come now. My father went to work this morning. I kissed him on his cheek.

_There's one there._

My twin brothers got dragged off by Angelina and Alicia to look at wedding arrangements. They're having a double wedding.

_There're four there._

I told Mum that I'm tired and want to go upstairs to have a nap. I gave her a hug and a kiss.

_There's one there._

As I go up the familiar old staircase, I come across my brother Ron and Hermione – his wife, one of my closet friends. I give them a hug each; he looks surprised, she looks worried.

_There're two there._

I go in the room next door to mine and see their son, Sirius for the very last time. He'll be so handsome one day. I pick him up and he coos; this coo is more melancholy than usual; maybe he knows what is happening. I give him a kiss before settling him again.

_There's one there._

I walk up to the attic once more; to see _him_ one last time.

_She entered the attic,_

_the place where she dwelled_

_on what could have been._

_She placed herself in front of the mirror_

_with those now-familiar reflected letters._

_As she looked in the glass she only saw_

_herself with a boy_

_with untidy black hair nearly covering a scar,_

_the scar that had shaped her life._

Ginny touched the reflective surface; she touched him. He almost felt real. Real, but cold. Cold like the glass under her fingertips. She took the small vial she had so sneakily bought in Knockturn Alley and swirled the contents round. She sat down facing her love and kneeled up to touch him. He reached down as if to take her hand.

I feel the hot liquid seep down my throat, pervading my senses. I feel the solid wooden flooring on the length of my body turning cold. The musty old scent of the attic is turning sweet. There is a faint ringing to the air as the colours turn brighter; brighter; brighter. The world turns white.

I step upon what look like clouds; they feel cool yet soft. One, two, three; three more; another two; I reach the ninth cloud and an iron gateway appears before me. I can see them on the other side.

Harry is running towards me; so fast; so fast. The gateway opens and I smile at him as I walk through the Gateway. We share a fierce hug before his lips place over mine. He feels like he always has done, he looks perfect, he smells of his own personal scent. He takes my hand leading me up a pathway. I turn to see the gateway close behind me.

The gardens are old-fashioned, the house looks old, but clean, with ivy growing up the side. The flowers in the flower bed bloom into a rainbow array of colours as my feel crunch on gravel. There is a couple standing in the doorway; his arm around her waist – almost mirror image of Harry and myself.

_I smile slightly nervously as he takes me to meet his parents._

_**Sniff, sniff. I have already written the epilogue – it needs a bit of tweaking but it will be up soon.**_

_**Reviews would be appreciated xXx**_


	8. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, I own nothing you recognise… No, not even the poems… (Can I sulk back in my corner now?)**

_The Epilogue – Feelings_

Ron knew no matter how hard he tried, Hermione was to mourn for his only sister, her only best friend, forevermore.

_Good husbands make unhappy wives_

_so do bad husbands, just as often;_

_But the unhappiness of a wife with a good husband_

_is much more devastating_

_then the unhappiness of a wife with a bad husband._

_**- D. H. Lawrence**_

-

Draco sat unnoticed, secretly watching the ceremony of mourning.

_The feelings I don't have I don't have._

_The feelings I don't have I won't say I have._

_The feelings you say you have you don't have._

_The feelings you would like us both to have, we neither of us have._

_The feelings people ought to have, they never have._

_If people say they've got, you may be pretty sure they haven't got them._

_So if you want either of us to feel anything at all,_

_You'd better abandon all idea of feelings altogether._

_**- D. H. Lawrence**_

-

He felt no remorse he had done what he had to do. To save himself, but more importantly to save humanity from untimely destruction. He was to get no recognition. Although the Dark Lord was silenced forever, the life of one individual was still prized higher than the life of many others. Draco knew that speaking out was a futile attempt. Tom Riddle had killed over and over again. Although because of his foe he was never to kill again, the wizarding world did not see the glint of gold under the tarnished galleon. It didn't matter.

Harry Potter was gone and caused a public storm. It did not matter that people like Frank and Alice Longbottom were tortured mercilessly and their souls were lost to the world. There was no annual Remembrance Day to contemplate, give thanks to and remember the sacrifices made.

_Only the annual mourning day on the day Harry Potter died._

-

_Fin._

_**Reviews would be appreciated and I apologise for any tears, cough, Lexie, cough xXx**_


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